en:
faker:
new_girl:
characters: [
"Winston Bishop",
"Cece",
"Coach",
"Jessica Day",
"Nick Miller",
"Schmidt"
]
quotes: [
"A no-nail oath? You thought I was gonna sleep with one of you, like I just couldn't help it?",
"With your big, beautiful blue eyes and my Blair Underwood-like skin, we'd have the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen.",
"Are you 'White Fanging' me?",
"You are a beautiful white man, Nick Miller.",
"Take these, and take care of them. I can get a tetanus shot, but I can't cure damaged suede.",
"Please take that off. You look like a homeless pencil.",
"Winston and Ferguson about to eat some pasta!",
"Gave me cookie got you cookie!",
"Can you believe the zoo wouldn't let me borrow their white tiger? I mean, the nerve! Philip Seymour Hoffman is going to be sitting at the back of the party thinking, 'Look at that guy. He couldn’t even get a big cat.'",
"Did you just say 'butt drinking?' You can’t say 'butt drinking' and not explain what it is. That's two of my four favorite things.",
"Are you cooking a frittata in a sauce pan? What is this – prison?",
"If you had a jacket on with a bunch of yellow feathers, I'd be done.",
"I had figure skating lessons until I was 13, and then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy.",
"Damp towel, damp! It’s like a really big wet nap. I feel like I'm being licked by a golden retriever. Look at this bathroom. There should not be two girls in this bathroom. You're too humid.",
"I don't celebrate Christmas. Or, as I like to call it, 'White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night'.",
"It hurts. I feel like I've laid a million eggs and they're all hatching. I feel like I want to murder someone and I also want soft pretzels.",
"I don't know how it happened, man, but somehow I got on that woman's cycle of menstruation…and I got that menstruation inside of me.",
"I don't want some janky freshwater bitch fish, Winston. I want a lionfish.",
"I did laundry. I smell like a baby in a damn meadow.",
"Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.",
"I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.",
"Nick is delicate. Like a flower. Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself.",
"How's the new apartment? Does it smell like new paint and compromise?",
"I was sabotaged by my baby box, which means I will never trust anything that comes out of it.",
"I'm gonna end up alone. I’m gonna be a single old lady, flashing people on the subway.",
"This place is fancy and I don't know which fork to kill myself with.",
"If you need me, I'll be in my room, listening to some mainstream hip-hop."
]